The Worst Movie Month

There's some debate over which seasons is the best season for movies, but there's no question what the worst one is: January. Audiences are smaller, since the kids are back in school, money's always tighter after Christmas, and the weather refuses to cooperate, so it feels like the studios just stop trying. Oh sure, there's the spillover of all the prestige pictures from the end of December, and a lot of titles like "Zero Dark Thirty" don't get their full rollouts until they can take full advantage of the awards buzz. After the Academy Award nominations are announced, the big contenders can look forward to a bump in admissions. However, a contributing factor is that everything else being released into theaters is pretty dire. Once you clear away the prestige stuff, what you've mostly got are dregs and leftovers from last year. If a studio movie has a January release date, it's an admission that they don't have any faith in the movie's financial or critical prospects.

So this year we have "Gangster Squad," the unfortunate Warner Brothers film that bore the brunt of the knee-jerk backlash against cinematic violence after last year's Aurora theater shooting. In a controversy-heavy awards season, the film has successfully made some money while avoiding unwanted scrutiny. And then there's "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters," the gory fantasy action movie that has been delayed and delayed by Paramount Pictures, and will finally open this weekend. And oh, here's Relativity's bizarre "Movie 43," which boasts a huge ensemble cast with many famous names, who have somehow been roped into what appears to be an exceptionally vulgar sketch comedy compilation. And we have the horror movie spoof "A Haunted House," that is more or less another installment of "Scary Movie," except that the Wayans brothers seem to be operating with even less supervision than usual. Is it any wonder that many critics have been quietly farming out reviews for these movies to lesser minions, or ignoring them completely in favor of Sundance coverage, Oscar coverage, and 2012 retrospectives?

Occasionally a hit will still land in January, and not everything should be written off automatically. Horror movies have done pretty good business during the month, like last year's "The Devil Inside," a found footage film that ended up grossing over $100 million in spite of wretched reviews. So this year, we have "Texas Chainsaw 3D" and "Mama" on the slate, which both pulled in good returns. More unusual movies can also grab some attention, like the bleak Liam Neeson vehicle "The Grey" last year. No doubt the studio executives took one look at that film's existential themes and contemplative, slow burn pacing, and predicted that mainstream audiences would hate it. However, the more discerning action connoisseurs liked it, the reviews were good, and it ended up grossing a respectable $50 million and quite a bit more on home media. Other smaller scale action films and thrillers like "Contraband," "Haywire," and the last "Underworld" installment have done okay here too.

This year, late winter seems to have become a new home to our aging population of hardcore action stars. Arnold Schwarzenegger just launched a comeback bid with "The Last Stand," Jason Statham's "Parker" comes at the end of the month, and Sylvester Stallone will return in "Bullet to the Head," just one day shy of January, on February 1st. It's a clear indication of their current position in the Hollywood pecking order. Together, these guys can swing an August release date with an "Expendables" movie, but separately they have to cool their heels with the likes of Leatherface. However, a release at this time of year means they enjoy less competition and might get to hang around in theaters a little longer than they might later on in the season. Weaker and less accessible films can sometimes get a boost this way. Nobody has very high expectations for these titles, so the pressure is largely off.

I've learned to appreciate January for giving us some breathing room in the schedule. After the holiday rush, and the awards conjecture, and the year-end recapping, and all the top ten lists, I'm worn out. I've still got a few current titles to seek out before the Oscars next month, but I've been taking advantage of the slim pickings to watch older films and catch up on some TV. The industry needs the break from the new release grind too. Studios are drawing up battle plans for the rest of the year, getting things sorted and scheduled. Marketing will soon be rolled out for the big spring and summer films, and some of the match-ups look like they're going to get pretty bloody. Everyone needs these few slower weeks to regroup and prepare.

So enjoy your January, movie fans. And be happy that the new release slates won't look this bad again until the last week of August.
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